vainglorious

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my week has improved

so that’s good. my tendency to let everything wash out of me and then be totes okay is high.

  • today is my friday! we were gifted with a free holiday day tomorrow by the agency so yay!
  • i have my first back in the saddle okcupid date tonight … my expectations are low because that’s how one should be about these things.
  • i can be really picky which is what i’m reminded of whenever i go through these periods. say “lol” in a text? god. no please don’t. :(
  • tomorrow i’m going to get my nails did and go to the movies and be one with my vacay.
  • not sure what else the weekend has in store for me and trying to be zen about that.

happy thursday.

When I was in high school maybe, I remember reading my mother’s diary about me (old school mommy blog?) and she wrote about comforting me because I was sad because a bunch of girls were excluding me and didn’t invite me to a slumber party. This was … 20+ years ago? And the same thing happened today. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and moving to Chicago has been a fucking struggle. A girl at work is not a huge fan, we just clash, and excluded me in something on purpose and I am sad. As someone who struggles with anxiety which makes me nervous that everyone hates me but also can come on strong in many situations, some people just aren’t into me and that’s okay, not everyone is your person/your people. But that feeling today? That I’m being purposefully excluded when no other women in my department are being excluded by this person for a social event? Well I may as well be 7 years old again. You get to choose that shit! You do! She gets to choose to not have me at her thing. But it feels awful. I just want to go home. I’m exhausted by dealing with this shit … which has been the last year at this job. The cliques. For many reasons, different teams and client verticals and other shit, I always seem to be the odd one out and the one who doesn’t fit in. When does it get easier? I called my mom crying because I’m a sensitive shit and just kept saying. I want to come home. I want to come home. Between this and the breakup, I am just beating myself up. I should be better. I should be able to handle it all. I’m almost fucking 30. 

Tumblr: get it together. I just tried to post this via iPad app and you couldn’t manage. So no bathing suit and my bitchy post went nowhere? Life is the worst. JK. But whatevs. Swimsuits for All my ass. I am disappoint. They can’t even auto notify me when it’s available again. I literally ordered less than an hour after they were listed. Yay for Gabi though.

Tumblr: get it together. I just tried to post this via iPad app and you couldn’t manage. So no bathing suit and my bitchy post went nowhere? Life is the worst.

JK. But whatevs. Swimsuits for All my ass. I am disappoint. They can’t even auto notify me when it’s available again. I literally ordered less than an hour after they were listed. Yay for Gabi though.

“Try to be interested in what he’s interested in. Watching football and fishing is actually fun if you step away from the Gossip Girl every once in awhile so don’t keep whining if he wants you to take part of something he likes to do. Try to give it a chance. Also, don’t be afraid to order a cheeseburger and fries with him every once in awhile.”

Dating Like A Dude

This is why I can’t take you seriously most of the time Hello Giggles. This is advice? Lord. Step away from the gender stereotypes.