March 2012
I hope Rick Santorum dreams about getting anally violated by big dick Romney and wakes up with a half boner and a full spectrum of guilt/self-loathing.
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GOING OFF MEME
I hope Rick Santorum gets knocked up by her abusive boyfriend and in the course of her super intrusive abortion process (ultrasound, waiting period) the dick finds out about it and beats her senseless and her abortion becomes much more high risk.
I hope Rick Santorum gets acquaintance raped by a gentleman she thought was really cool and cannot afford Plan B even though she has health insurance.
...
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I hope Rick Santorum reads Divergent and LOVES it and finishes it super quick, then goes to get the sequel on his Kindle and realizes it doesn’t get released for another 4 months.
I hope Rick Santorum promises a client he will complete a task ASAP then gets delayed by his design team because they’re all lazy as shit.
I hope Rick Santorum has been watching Revenge for the whole season...
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unfuckwithable replied to your post: I hope Rick Santorum is about to enjoy marital…
Man, that second one got REALLY personal for some reason. Like, I feel like I just read your diary from high school.
Obvious personal issue is obvious :(. I did 2 rounds of Accutane as a teen, 8 months and 6 months, and at 15 I had to go to the gyno and go on oral contraceptives because it’s pretty...
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I hope Rick Santorum gets really into a young GOPer on OkCupid only to meet up for church & a jerk and find out she lied about her age.
I hope Rick Santorum sees a lot of statcounter hits to his blog from Pinterest, only to follow the link and see someone is making fun of their design aesthetic.
I hope Rick Santorum gets a sweet, sexy text from a dude he’s sorta really into only to...
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I hope Rick Santorum is told by his wife that his hair is looking a little shaggy so he runs into the local SuperCuts for a trim but ends up with a reverse mullet with a bowl cut slant.
I hope Rick Santorum has to explain to his youngest son what the Savage version of “santorum” is because his son’s friends are all making fun of him.
I hope Rick Santorum is about to enjoy marital procreative time with his wife but one of his 10 kids is having a crisis and barges in and when they get back at it, he can’t get it up.
I hope Rick Santorum has to take his daughter to the gyno to get birth control pills because she’s on Accutane and her doctor very strongly recommended it.
ihopericksantorum:
I hope Rick Santorum goes to use his vibrator and realizes he is out of AAA batteries.
This happened to me the other day so I had to take the batteries out of my Comcast remote. Santorum deserves this fate. As it was the worst.
February 2012
“And I’m not going to give anyone a pass just because we both happen to have a...”
– Why ‘Say Something Nice On The Internet Day’ Is Bullshit
THANK YOU.
Yes, feminism, but pretty sure that doesn’t mean I have to think the sun shines out your ass just because we share a gender. Do you think dudes care about tearing down some other dude idiot because he has a penis and...
Georgia bill calls for Ten Commandments in gov't... →
Passed unanimously in the state House. Georgia: if I was remotely surprised, I guess I’d be disappointed, but nope.
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“Q. Pregnant Teacher: My daughter’s fourth-grade teacher is unmarried and...”
– Knocked-up single teacher: Will she corrupt my daughter? - Slate Magazine
Wow. What a complete cunt.
recent realizations
one month in chicago and a real office where there’s candy everywhere has made me feel a little extra corpulent, so now i’m walking to and from work everyday in the cold (round trip: 3.8 miles)
i am woefully unprepared for st. patty’s day here… meaning i have no green clothes, i am always prepared for a blackout
i didn’t buy/bring enough braves gear or uga gear or...
“President Obama wants everybody in America to go to college, what a snob. There...”
– Rick Santorum Doubles Down On Claim That Colleges Indoctrinate Students, Calls President Obama A ‘Snob’ (VIDEO) | Addicting Info
Wow… just amazing. But Santorum is onto something, promoting ignorance is the only way he’d get elected.
The word "misandry" is really useful.
gregtron:
It means I can stop reading a comment on the internet immediately.
BUT IT’S SO VALID. Those bitches are trying to tear men down! TEARS (tairs)
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“A WOW Wedding has always been a dream of ours, but financially out of reach....”
– Ronnie Mallette and Brent Ferricci, WOW Wedding Finalists
11alive.com | Atlanta, GA
Go vote for this awesome couple to win their dream wedding. Glad to see an ATL news station giving a slot to a gay couple and to be honest, my friend Liza’s bro is close with the couple so I’m taking up...
CHICAGO ALERT
I move on April 1st to Wicker. My housewarming party will be a combo Kentucky Derby/Cinco de Mayo party on Saturday, May 5th. So make no other plans. We’ll have mint margaritas, bourbon slushies, queso + pork tacos and other such things. MARK IT DOWN.
“Incredible! For centuries people have lived alone..the social outcasts, the ones...”
– The Freedom, and Perils, of Living Alone - NYTimes.com
Fun comments. WTF.
“The longer she lives alone, she said, the less flexible she becomes — and the...”
– The Freedom, and Perils, of Living Alone - NYTimes.com
OMG. This whole article… Everything about me feels normal now. Especially the fact that having a roommate for 2 months makes me want to murder that roommate. I HAVE TO COORDINATE SHOWERS OH MY GOD IT’S THE WORST.
“What emerges over time, for those who live alone, is an at-home self that is...”
– One Is the Quirkiest Number: The Freedom, and Perils, of Living Alone
see also: being single for most of your adult life. i treasure my weirdness, as i treasure the weirdness of others.
(via brookehatfield)
Welcome to why I’m moving April 1st.
j-o-b-s
As I told Adam yesterday, sometimes I’m shocked that from my humble life non-success beginnings (DUIs, failing out of UGA) that I actually have a job I like, am good at and am glad to go to everyday. It seems like I should be continually punished for being an idiot at 18. And at 20 and then between 21-23. Or like in general. Working shit jobs (nursing home receptionist, Il Mulino hostess,...
Interesting Side Effects
It’s been a tough couple weeks for women, amirite? Between the Komen misstep, the contraception bullshit, the Planned Parenthood demonization, the VA object rape law and the Rihanna/victim of abuse-judging, I am just lady businessed out. It seems that every day we wake up and hear the war on women is totes gaining steam and you better shut your legs lest the crazies take hold of your bits...
unimportant material
I went and had beers with a Chicago tumblerererer and his wife tonight. Maintained the 80% of people from Tumblr are cool ratio. Meaning, majority of y’all I meet in real life are the jam… Others? Meh.
Netflix is very suggestive. If it wasn’t right there on the “Suggested For You” section would I be watching School Ties right now? Likely not. But hot damn, Brendan...
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“Now because the majority of abortions are performed in the first trimester, if...”
– JON STEWART, on Virginia’s inhumane, inhuman and shameful “personhood” law that requires women wanting to get an abortion to, in essence, be subject to rape, on The Daily Show (via inothernews)
I’m still trying to figure what to do about everything going on in our country re: this shit. Like...
“What may be most frustrating about the rise of a particular stripe of lifestyle...”
– Better Homes & Bloggers | Bitch Media
So much agreed. It’s your privilege to stay home and blog about your pretty life, but maybe acknowledge that it’s not courageous, it’s kowtowing to a certain idea of feminity and overall, lacking creativity.
oh sarah
If I wasn’t a melodramatic brat, I just wouldn’t be me you know? At least I’m self-aware. :)
WatchReally? with Seth and Amy: Birth Control