vainglorious

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following my arrow

  • today i met this dude — david allen
  • and this dude — jim fallows
  • for work for an 8 hour meeting about something really cool we’re making for you that won’t be ready till like 2014 or something
  • then we went to this place for dinner — gt oyster
  • i ate lobster + caviar for the first time ever
  • i hate seafood and i’m allergic to shrimp so avoid but client dinner — you eat and say nothing
  • yay lobster, ugh caviar
  • i became so animated while discussing SEC football that i knocked over a water glass and my boss shot me evil glances
  • days like today and nights like tonight, i feel good about being here
  • but then, i don’t know … i feel out of place
  • tomorrow, taylor will come over and install my A/C unit and i’ll ask about his date last week with the girl who has been vying for him since march or so and i won’t cry
  • i lost to her i guess? (he’d tell you something VERY VERY different — she was a non-factor, etc.) i’m disgustingly competitive and this shit falls into that category
  • we’ll act like we’re friends and i’ll be way more sad than i let on
  • but that’s tomorrow
  • now that today is done, and today took MONDO prep, i can focus on other things a bit … just a little bit
  • springle yo

you never know

you never know if your words will make someone feel just … not alone. sharing is caring. sharing struggles with others, sharing your dirty sordid details … your pain with others can help you and them. reading hyperbole and a half’s post today on depression made me realize how much i wasn’t sharing with people in my world who are not professionals and what i should share with others more often. if only for the sake of “someone should know i’m feeling this way.” being a buzzkill or a bummer is a constant fear though.

my own struggles with mental illness and depression apart from relationship and situation specific bouts are likely not something i’ll ever feel comfortable talking about openly. i certainly don’t here. but the thoughts of hopelessness and nothingness and the aching loneliness … it’s not foreign. the past year has broken me worse than anything has before and that’s okay. i hate feeling weak and vulnerable and pathetic so avoid such true and honest feelings in public … but sharing your deepest pain isn’t that, it’s strong and empowering and people should do it more.

those who can honestly and bravely discuss those issues? thank you. it’s so helpful and appreciated.

“Basically, it’s not that people born after 1980 are narcissists, it’s that young people are narcissists, and they get over themselves as they get older. It’s like doing a study of toddlers and declaring those born since 2010 are Generation Sociopath: Kids These Days Will Pull Your Hair, Pee On Walls, Throw Full Bowls of Cereal Without Even Thinking of the Consequences.”

Every Every Every Generation Has Been the Me Me Me Generation - Elspeth Reeve - The Atlantic Wire (via sexartandpolitics)

I don’t know, some of us are actually narcissists. Shrug.

(via sexartandpolitics)