breast shame
This morning while listening to my favorite morning show (yes, ATLiens, I am a loyal Bert Show listener! And former intern!), they discussed tits. And showing them off and how cleavage makes girls look dumb, how they only want attention and other such body-shaming bullshit. Well fine — CLEAVAGE-shaming bullshit. And as you can imagine, this is a topic near and dear to my heart.
I am really not trying to humblebrag here, but I have big ass tits. Large. Frankly, I’m not a huge fan sometimes, but they’re here to stay, and there’s not much to say about that. I constantly feel shameful about what I have on my chest. And here’s how:
- getting told by a friend that I should buy bra’s with padding because she can see my nipples sometimes (yep, never ever ever buy bras with padding! stare at my nipples cunt!)
- every time I see my mother and I’m wearing something mildly scandalous, she (IN PUBLIC) will reach down and pull up my shirt. I am 28 years old.
- working at a nursing home and constantly being told to pull up my camisoles, when non-booby ladies were not. DOES MY CLEAVAGE OFFEND YOU?
- not being able to wear normal dresses or swimsuits or jackets or… lots of shit
- having people think I’m constantly looking for attention with my tits when (maybe sometimes), I’m usually trying to wear a flattering outfit which in my experience means cleavage.
- have dudes make comments and talk to my chest
- have people act as though I’m trying to use my tits to get things (which very rarely works)
- whenever I complain about my breasts, I get a lot of “oh shut up! you know you love them!” … I would, it’s just I have this constant pain in my back? My shoulders? Scars on the sides of my chest from underwire? Inability to wear sleeveless dresses/tops?
- other shit y’all … other shit
I just want to issue an APB that those of us who got “blessed” are not whores, we’re not attention sluts, we’re not dumb, we’re not trying to take attention away from you, we’re not trying to steal your husband — we’re trying to dress to look our best, we’re trying to be appropriate at work will still trying to be feminine and not look huge, we’re working hard to make up for the IQ points our chest drops us in your eyes. We’re not hoochies, we’re not trashy, we just happen to buy some very large, very expensive bras and we wish you’d learn to look at our eyes. We have on that new eyeshadow, it really brings out the green, you’ll like it, promise.
