Arbitrary.
Just perused the boyfriend free tumblr. The blog of girls wondering why they don’t have a boyfriend. I found myself questioning the opposite, why the hell do I have a boyfriend? Their queries as to why they don’t range from redheads wearing red to thinking too much and it just made me frustrated.
As a perpetually single lady till last March (3/15/08 to be exact), I pondered similar questions and came up with a lot of answers:
- I didn’t have a boyfriend because I couldn’t get off those last 5(10) pounds.
- I didn’t have a boyfriend because I was too independent.
- I didn’t have a boyfriend because I hopped into bed too early.
- I didn’t have a boyfriend because I was just unlovable/insufferable.
- I didn’t have a boyfriend because I wasn’t over my ex.
- I didn’t have a boyfriend because I’m not really big on grooming/being exceedingly girly. (My feet are atrocious. Don’t. Give. A. Fuck.)
- I didn’t have a boyfriend because I was just too awesome (and blah blah blah).
- I didn’t have a boyfriend because I just hadn’t met my goofy partner Morgan yet.
The last one is maybe the real reason, and the others could have made an impact, but really it was just that it hadn’t happened. Morgan may not be the love of my life (only 26 y’all) but I’m content and when we met in March of ‘08 I certainly never thought we’d still be together and living under one roof right now. Shit ain’t perfect (is it ever?) but it’s pretty cool most of the time, yet I still find myself questioning why anyone would spend that much time with me, much less a cute dude who has his shit together.
Being insecure and focusing on the itty-bitty details may be a girl trait traditionally but I’m convinced it afflicts both genders. (Most of us) come into the world alone and we die alone. Focus on you and cherish your alone time and never focus on whatever trivial bullshit you think could prevent you from living happily ever after. Having a boyfriend doesn’t mean your life is now complete and it doesn’t mean you’ll never have bouts of crippling insecurity again. (We all know this.)
I am guilty of it, but wish it was okay to just be happy/so jealous for girlfriends when they get engaged/get married/turn up preggers and not have to let their joy make you question your whole existence. I’m a big believer in “let the chips fall where they may,” and your haircolor/clothes combo will not matter to your future life partner. Promise. You do you.
(Disclaimer: not trying to be all condescending. I’m a bit drunk. Wait, seriously… why do I have a boyfriend?)
