I like to write about how horrifically, insanely awful I am at being normal or human or adult. I feel like a Peanuts character, the dirty one or the weird one. I mean, whatever.
- My dress burst today. It was a cute linen dress from J.Crew with deep cleavage but a little keyhole with a button that made it appropriate for work. My tits being huge, are also unruly, I breathed a deep breath this morning and the button broke. I had boobs popping out all day at work all while we had state surveyors/investigators in the office. I also remembered after getting to work in a dress I forgot to shave my legs.
- Kathleen and I are good girlfriends, but maybe we’re not the best influences on each other. We spent Labor Day Weekend on the couch at my parents’ lakehouse. We did not bathe or really eat normally, we drank, watched TV, played on the internet and chatted about everything under the sun. But the key point here is we didn’t bathe. I didn’t shower for 4 days and neither did she. This is why we’re meant to be together.
- Last week I took home some mp3 players to put ripped CD audio on for our Director of Education. I had all the stuff in a box as I left my house in the morning. I also had my gymbag, my purse, an umbrella, my thermos of tea and my bag of books (I carry a bag of books with me in my car wherever I go), I placed the box on top of my Jeep, placed the rest of my crap in my car and went off to start my day. I drive all the way to work before realizing the box was left on top of my car. I call my boyfriend and then turn back around to trace my route back to my house. He found everything I lost. The box flew off my car and all the pieces of the mp3 players and headphones and CD’s were strewn through our neighbors’ yards. Miraculously nothing was irreparable. This means something, I am so stupidly awesome.
Role model.
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