vainglorious

Either I was with another human in a significant relationship for way too long OR I am just socially awkward, always.

Pretty sure it’s the latter. Or both. Or men are just not my jam at the current time.

Anyways, I got hit on at Trader Joe’s today while deciding whether to spend $5.99 on asparagus was really worth it. The dude (mildly cute & dorky, normally right up my alley but not in this particular form) asked me if I was from around here. Awkwardly I replied, “Yes,” thinking he needed directions then realized he might be hitting on me, so rethought and replied, “Oh, no not really.” (What?) He then asked if I went to school and told me that he thought he knew me, I looked familiar. Here’s where I’m awkward always: “Oh really? Yeah. I just look like a lot of people around here. Short blonde people are everywhere.” To make matters worse, he tells me, that I don’t look like everyone… I stand out. So to be even weirder, I say, “Well I work at a nursing home.” Without provocation. I don’t know. There was some following me to the next aisle until I blurted out, “have a nice day” and escaped to the wine section, taking the $6 asparagus with me.

I guess I respect the boldness of talking to a strange girl in a crowded Trader Joe’s but in practice I think it’s unfortunate. Right now I’m kind of against men for romantic purposes, so maybe if I wasn’t I’d be less awkward, but I’m always the worst person to hit on. I’m hoping to jump back in to the scary pool eventually but I imagine it’ll take awhile. As my friends all get married, I am running the other way. One bad apple (or ten) shouldn’t spoil the bunch, but my current aversion feels like maturity. Every other breakup led me in the opposite direction. Progress?